Last evening (Monday, February 9, 2009) I received three calls in quick succession, all of which I ignored since I was in the closing moments of an appointment.
The trio of callers bore sad news of the passing of a kind and gentle man, a friend and fellow traveler on a well-trod path: Lloyd M.
None of us knew how to absorb this sorrowful ending to a life so abruptly and prematurely lost.
Tears, yes of course; aching hearts, confusion, anger . . . and beneath it all a hint of fear. In this moment most of all mute numbness.
This young man struggled greatly to find and maintain a sense of balance - peace of mind was for him a seemingly elusive, even mercurial state. We were his friend, and he ours, exactly because we viscerally understood. So is the nature of our bond that this tragic finale was not entirely unexpected. Still, second guessing and doubt comes: if we could've just found the magic words. But in this business there is no magic -- no smoke nor mirrors, simply hard work -- trudging -- and a fine measure of divine grace.
As for me, the only sense of comfort I am able to reach as I write this is the notion that Lloyd, who made the ultimate sacrifice as a beacon for those he left behind (behold and avoid these rocky shoals!), now at long last is free from what had been his increasingly painful struggle.
He can now enjoy the peace beyond knowing of perfect and eternal Grace. He can at long last simply rest.
Here's an image of one of the last times I saw him truly happy.
(NOTE: for reasons I am too tired to puzzle out the link above does not correctly render in Mozilla Firefox, so in order to see it correctly please past the resulting URL into an Internet explorer window, or copy this into IE: http://jwmurray.net/Lloyd.htm )
If you, dear reader, have any remembrances of Lloyd and would care to share them here I would deeply enjoy the opportunity to read them.
Peace be with you.
