A (long overdue) pair of submissions, representing a duality inherent in a particularly potent aspect of the human condition: seeing red . . .
Who does not at times experience impatience, frustration, irritation, annoyance, peevishness? (Or, as a master wordsmith friend of mine recently exquisitely observed, of himself: peckishness). Certainly, everyone who's ever trod this blue orb of ours.
Properly expressed, anger is a healthy, natural signal that discomfort has reached an unacceptable level. The emotion per se has no intrinsic, subjective quality such as "wrong"; what counts is how it is conveyed. Ideally a dialog ensues, one which is neither threatening nor harmful, and results in an understanding agreement for the participants.
Yet, what of rage? This is another beast altogether, a viscous entity which by its very nature surpasses reason and any conscious notion of a negotiated outcome. This blistering torrent of emotional energy arises after unexpressed anger incubates for far too long . . . The normal constraints of reasonable discourse are obliterated, often in an instant, by the eruption of pain which simply can no longer be held captive, imprisoned within. Under the vitriolic whip of rage genuine damage can result, leaving sometimes deep psychic — and unfortunately too often — physical harm in its wake.
So, what to do when harboring such toxic feelings? How to avoid becoming unhinged?
I recently had an amazing experience . . . I'll go so far so to claim it as the most significant experience of my life to date. I retreated, with ninety-one other men, only one of whom I knew beforehand, deep into the old growth coastal redwoods of the coastal Mendocino forest. I had no expectations (a bit of grace, that) going into this week-long gathering of raw male energy, masculine soul outpourings utterly unrestrained (save for the One Rule: no physical violence). The sharing which was at turns hilarious, heart-breaking, moving and enlightening.
And, at moments, intensely frightening to bear witness to and experience.
For all of us present were in our own way scarred — broken at depth in a bewildering multitude of ways . . . by family, friends, society, religion, occupations, and perhaps most potently, Self. Among this conclave existed a remarkable, even miraculous implicit/explicit understanding: each of us was safe to fully let loose, authentically, deeply, and often with primal forcefulness. Such outpourings sometimes arose as the finale to a slow build up of what started out as a tentative, quietly stated narrative. Other men, in reaction to something heard, or triggered, or provoked by a prior sharing perhaps hours (or days) before, suddenly unleashed their unbridled angst, confusion and, yes, indeed, RAGE, for all to behold.
And to collectively hold. And to affirm. And, in the end, to provide the soul's balm of cathartic healing.
Thus, secluded from the demands of our public lives, in the privacy of our spiritually intimate plumbings, we discovered that as we bared our deepest wounds we were finally Seen: our worth and strength and wisdom, arising from our brokenness, was at long last recognized by a fellowship of peers.
I can only directly speak for myself, of course, but I suspect, as it was for me, this retreat provided the fundamental, essential seeds of deeply personal transformation for every member of this unique clan.
Just as the majestic, towering Sequoia Redwoods need the raging intensity of fire to germinate their seeds, so too did many of us voluntarily expose ourselves to one another's — and our own — emotional infernos. In these affirming revelations and the shedding of fetid emotional relics are the burning embers of inspired healing, and growth to come.
Namaste, indeed.
Seeing Red (On the Edge), Highway 29, #6334-7D
© 2013 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.
(click image for larger version)
Details: June 30, 2013, Canon 7D; f/11 @ 1/250 sec; ±0 EV; ISO 250;
Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM @ 61mm
Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM @ 61mm
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Fire Falls (Mendocino Scarf), #7470-7D
© 2013 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.
(click image for larger version)
Details: August 15, 2013, Canon 7D; f/4.5 @ 1/100 sec; ±0 EV; ISO 800;
Canon EF 70-300mm f/4-5.6L IS USM @ 120mm
Canon EF 70-300mm f/4-5.6L IS USM @ 120mm
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