Seeing 2013 (#26)

For your consideration:  a candid portrait of stoic grief, a man deep in thought — perhaps emotionally immersed to a degree even unfathomable to himself.

This is my father-in-law.  The occasion, a recent sojourn to a small, hot town made by a clutch of close family from both coasts, was not a pleasant one: we gathered as shepherds for this man's wife's journey to the eternity awaiting us all.

Ironically, the unstated belief among us was that Mr Book would precede Loretta to the Other Side.  Yet presumptions are proven yet again to be notoriously unreliable.

This man's frail exterior is but a cosmetic veneer for a tough, determined soldier of life.  Indeed, the pose here is hardly one of resigned passivity; I (surreptitiously) focused on this moment in an effort to capture his deliberant perseverance in light of inexpressibly painful circumstances.  The body language may be closed, but the expression reveals a stout soul.

Loretta Mauren Kozial Book passed over four days after this image was taken.  Throughout out the agonizing process of his wife's deterioration Jay lived each moment with an aching yet grace-infused dignity which obviously came naturally to him.  Reflecting on losing his wife, soulmate and life partner of sixty-three years, he shrugged his shoulders and simply said, "It's a part of life".  And:  "When you gotta go, you gotta go."

This is a man who has also, over the course of his lifetime, lost three sons, their lives cut short far far too prematurely.  At the wedding of his daughter to me, he announced from the stage before our gathered family and friends, "I have a new son."  Wow.  To this day I am in awe of that intimate sentiment.

Thus it was an honor and profound privilege to be allowed into this proud man's presence during this undoubtedly excruciating passage.  He epitomized a role model we could all do well to emulate.

May you be free from pain and suffering, dad.  Peace be on you.

Jay Book, June 1, 2013, Kingman, AZ, #5190-7D

© 2013 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: June 1, 2013, Canon 7D; f/3.2 @ 1/100 sec; ±0 EV; ISO 640;
Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM @ 65mm

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