As I wrote in a prior post, I was in a position to shepherd my mother's last days on this planet. Doing so meant, in the end, giving a medical directive to remove her from life support.
This was neither a simple nor easy decision. Seeking guidance, I trekked out into the Sonoran desert of my home, just west of Gates Pass, and spent time in prayer and meditation at a spot known to me, various friends and a few family members simply as the rock.
Ironic that quite a few years ago this same locale was an escape from reality, where many hours were passed in a haze, watching sunsets by day and peering into the unfathomable depth of the black night sky (pondering of course the profundity of existence and life itself, as college students are apt to do).
Visiting this spot in need of spiritual clarity and emotional fortitude would've been incomprehensible in those days. Doing so last November was both painful and a relief: although when walking out to this boulder I knew not what wisdom (if any) would come to me, a sense of safety, comfort and, ultimately, the chance for healing was assured. And so it was.
The strange journey of grief is now underway; as yet the navigational markers are obscure and elusive. Snippets of insight come, usually unbidden and surreptitiously. I have the considerable support of my wife, family, and many close friends, for which I am deeply grateful.
My mother was a deeply troubled soul. She is at last at peace, and perfectly healed as well. For this I am also thankful. At some future date I shall return to this spot to spread her ashes.
In Memoriam: Johanna Lynn Petersen, March 8, 1941 - November 5, 2009.
The Rock, #5529
© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.
(click image for larger version)
Details: November 4, 2009; Canon 20D; f/11 @ 1/800 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 200; 25mm.
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Another beautiful entry James. Especially poignant is this particular entry of yours, which makes this photograph so very meaningful. Having heard stories of the "rock" in the 8 years I have known you, I love the chance to get to see what it actually looks like. I hope you include this photo in your future photography book.
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