Seeing 2010 (#74)

For your consideration: a contradiction of sorts -- a fluid moment frozen in time.

A recent reading I've been studying remarks upon the utter uncertainty inherent in every next instant; the illusion that we can predict (or, even more to the point, control) that which seems obviously imminent is pervasive indeed. Yet with every new moment comes altered configurations of electrons in their orbits, cells in their development, planets in their relative transits . . . Thus only on the surface of our consciousness does the universe seem the same now as just then.

A great deal of life's struggle is devoted to the inevitably vain attempt to arrange things just so, and then to keep the result firmly in place . . . Fear arises at the thought of losing the known; change is resisted. Ironically, a great peace and delight might be discovered by simply surrendering to the beauty, mystery and surprise contained in each unfolding slice of existence.

This photograph is that of the tip of a fountain's column of water, a multifarious aggregate of bubbles (each of which of course discloses an absence of water) caught in a fractional slice of a second. The form depicted is both far less solid and well-defined than a first glance suggests, and was already adapting an entirely new arrangement as the shutter closed.

Impermanence/Eruption, #8140

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: May 23, 2010; Canon 20D; f/8 @ 1/800 sec; ± 0 EV; ISO 200; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#73)

For your consideration (and reflection, perhaps): an image in honor and remembrance of Linda, the sister of my close friend Ben. She passed away last week, prematurely young, after losing a lengthy and courageous battle with cancer. She leaves behind her husband Robert, her nephew Skyeler who she raised as a son, and many other loving family members.

Death is the One Topic most humans go to any length to avoid contemplating, for it presents an eternal, impenetrable mystery of what follows even as it demarcates the inescapable, irrevocable end of all that is familiar. Naturally the immediate and overriding reaction to the reality of mortality is fear, and as a species we've developed elaborate and multi-layered rituals, ceremonies and all manner of distractions to erect as many walls as possible between the secret hope of dodging the final verdict and the unsettling, if not terrifying eventuality of its arrival.

Still, there are perspectives which can bring some measure of peace. Years ago a friend pointed out to me that all things are on loan -- nothing is permanent. My suffering arises when I forget this simple truth and become too attached to keeping things just as they are. Even my life is on loan, an amazing, often bewildering, frequently joyous journey as a spiritual being having a human experience. As I've passed fifty years of age my own temporary status on this blue marble has become rather more visceral; of late I've been walking a reflective path which is helping to shift my own attitude towards death (ever so slightly, so far) from anxiety to a sense that, well, if nothing else, it's going to be an interesting experience.

As followers of this blog know my own mother died last year; one of the attendant aspects of living long enough is needing to deal with an increasing number of losses as friends, family members and beloved celebrities exit the stage ahead of us. Grief is never easy, yet it can serve to heal past wounds, enhance our own relationship to humility, and prepare us to walk into our own sunset with perhaps a shred of grace and dignity.

I pray for peace and lovingkindness to surround Ben and his family, affected friends and loved ones; may their hearts be soothed by kind and sweet memories and the pleasures of having shared in Linda's journey through life. There is much beauty and joy to be found in such reminiscing.

Finally, some passages on death, excerpted from the writings of Kahlil Gibran:

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like the seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity . . .

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

† † †

Requiescat In Pace

Linda DiRubio-Moore

April 13, 1961 - May 20, 2010

† † †

Untitled, #7732

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: May 8, 2010; Canon 20D; f/11 @ 1/200 sec; -1/3 EV; ISO 400; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#72)

(Apologies for the incomplete posting sent our earlier.)

For your consideration: two images taken with the same 100mm Macro lens, nicely illustrating its versatility by means of presenting a pair of views of radically differing scale . . .

The first composition shows the result of utilizing this lens at enough of a distance to bring forth its strength as a medium length telephoto (roughly 180mm). Photographs shot with such lenses compress the sense of depth, a phenomenon which can be employed to flatten perspective. Thus the case here: an abstract created from a particularly angular façade of the beautiful structure in which I (currently) work.

The second tableau demonstrates a more classic use of this lens, that being extreme closeup photography. Perhaps most commonly trained on nature studies such as flowers and insects, I derive great satisfaction taking this lens to discover abstractions and alternative interpretations by focusing on the small, inanimate details often overlooked in our daily journeys. To wit: a meteor streaking by on a business park sidewalk . . .

* * *

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Library, #7677

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

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Details: May 4, 2010; Canon 20D; f/2.8 @ 1/1000 sec; ± 0 EV; ISO 400; 100mm.

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Incoming!, #8139

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

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Details: May 23, 2010; Canon 20D; f/8 @ 1/800 sec; ±0 EV; ISO 200; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#71)

For your consideration: two semi-abstract allusions to enlightenment.

The first submission evokes pillars of hope and revelation as comfort against a sea of darkness. Here little is as it seems (the image was taken just after Noon in a fast-food restaurant, and features several subtle assymetries); the stark simplicity of form and construction suggests that fine details are irrelevant to understanding and peace.

The second depicts the possibilities of solid, sublime serenity coexistent even amidst a fractured, tortuous environment.

Taken together this pair of photographs illustrates alternate yet largely compatible traditions: one speaks to the unreliability and illusionary nature of reality, while the other embodies the concept of an ultimate answer.

* * *

Four Noble Truths, #7801

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: May 11, 2010; Canon 20D; f/22 @ 1/800 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 400; 100mm.

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Stationary Truth, #8036

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

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Details: May 16, 2010; Canon 20D; f/11 @ 1/400 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 100; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#70)

For your consideration: a study in monolithic architecture as a governing abstraction . . . City Hall, San Jose, California.

Edifice, #7331

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: April 16, 2010; Canon 20D; f/11 @ 1/1000 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 200; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#69)

For your consideration: two men who agreed to pose for me this weekend, both patiently.

The location is the St. Francis Retreat Center in the foothills above San Juan Bautista, easily my favorite place on planet Earth. The occasion was an annual retreat; I had thirty good friends as companions. Having spent considerable time here (many visits over the past eighteen or so years) I've photographed the grounds extensively. Naturally I took my camera gear along this time, yet I when returned home and tallied my efforts I was surprised to discover that I took 215 photographs since late Friday afternoon . . . all of them with my 100mm Macro lens.

The this study came to me rather spontaneously: I had been taking close-ups of the saint when Bill greeted me warmly and walked past . . . the playful possibilities inherent in a juxtaposition of the heads were immediately apparent to me, so I asked him (Bill) if he'd be willing to serve as a subject. He was agreeable; Francis raised no objections.

Saint Francis and Bill, #7903

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: May 15, 2010; Canon 20D; f/4.5 @ 1/2000 sec; -1/3 EV; ISO 200; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#68)

For your consideration: a study in contemplation.

My friend graciously agreed to pose for a portrait just after High Noon on a bright day; I rarely photograph at such hours as the lighting is relatively flat (especially for color work) and finding rich textures normally revealed by low, slanting sun rays can be difficult.

However, in this case Sol's blazing directly over head (!) permitted a lush amplification of Mr Loo's abundant, symmetric coif, providing resplendent texture and surprisingly bountiful shadows . . .

Matt Loo, #7818

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: May 13, 2010; Canon 20D; f/8 @ 1/160 sec; -1/3 EV; ISO100; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#67)

For your consideration: imagery congruent with recent excursions into surreal emotional landscapes seemingly drawn from the Twilight Zone; both speak to the concepts of perspective and time.

To followers of this blog the first tableau may seem at first to be a repeat offering -- not so: the location is the same, but here we have Act II. Depicted is a bit of Dukkha, fallout from the too frequent human interactions laced with retribution rather than the motive of loving kindness and understanding. One is left malformed, isolated and hollow, encased in layers and shells as scabs on wounds until healing is attained, and dawn seems far removed.

The second photograph is an unaltered macro perspective of a larger form which is usually regarded as a thing of beauty . . . yet this scene reveals that upon closer examination even objects of pleasure and delicacy can mistakenly appear to be frightful and forcefully armored.

* * *

Abandonment (Taedium Vitae), #6764

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: March 20, 2010; Canon 20D; f/8 @ 1/4 sec; -1 2/3 EV; ISO 400; 100mm.

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Alien, #7478

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: April 28, 2010; Canon 20D; f/5.6 @ 1/100 sec; -1/3 EV; ISO 400; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#66)

For your consideration: an alien barracuda, perhaps, salivating over prey unseen.

More likely: an extreme closeup of a long, bladed plant, the slit of which harbors a delicate filament of a spider's work.

This photograph was taken in late, low afternoon back-lighting, moments before sunset, using my 100mm f/2.8 Canon Macro lens. Even at 1/400 second and using a monopod it was nearly impossible to hold the camera still enough to obtain a sharp image, due to the powerful magnification and nearly non-existent depth of field -- and an unpredictable, sporadic breeze just to make the task interesting.

Blade Jaws, #7235

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: April 7, 2010; Canon 20D; f/4 @ 1/400 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 400; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#65)

For your consideration: Happy Mother's Day!

This is a watershed holiday for me personally: it is the first Mother's Day of my fifty-one years on this mortal coil without my biological mother living. She passed away six months ago (see this entry and this).

A subtly surreal experience. Due to deep, lifelong and progressive handicaps beyond her understanding, Johanna Lynn was never able to be a mother in any meaningful sense of the word. It has taken a long time, but I've largely made peace with the enigma of grieving something did I not have as a child.

My wife and I yesterday attended a memorial for a friend of her's, a man not yet 41 years old who recently lost a long battle with cancer, leaving behind a wife and infant daughter. What was striking at the service was how much joy and celebratory spirit abounded among the gathered; the man was clearly an exemplary example of loving-kindness and positive attitude. The healing power of love shone throughout the service, which I believe will be a source of strength and comfort to this man's window as she navigates this Mother's Day too.

I have also been blessed by the wonderful love of the woman whom I've called "Mom" for many years now, Joan Elizabeth. I was foisted upon her when I was quite a troubled fourteen (and she not yet thirty); we lived in a very small, quite remote mining town and my father was working in another State much of time. Over several decades a turbulent and challenging beginning evolved into a deeply mutually loving, compassionate, and respectful relationship which has been healing and ever increasingly precious to me as the years roll on.

Due to some baffling, frustrating and unfortunate circumstances I won't get to spend time with my Mom today as I'd hoped, but nonetheless my heart will be with her as well as my keen sense of gratitude for the wonderful mother she has been, and continues to be to me.

As this day unfolds I will strive to pass forward the love I've been given, to my wonderful wife Julianna, and to celebrate her amazing example of being a loving mother to my daughter Hannah Mae.

Mom, Julianna: -- Happy Mother's Day!

Mom, #8779

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: November16, 2009; Canon G2; f/2.5 @ 1/60 sec; -1/3 EV; ISO50; 18.8mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#64)

For your consideration: a change of pace from recent submissions . . .

Those who follow my work know that my photographs generally feature rather formal and often complex compositions; I usually strive to eliminate any and all elements I deem irrelevant or potentially distracting. However in this case I retained 100% of the original arrangement; amidst the chaos are many subtle repetitions and counterbalancing elements.

I did give some consideration to cropping the frame across the top and on the left . . . but what caught my vision to begin with were the myriad inanimate faces and figures scattered throughout the scene, ironic commentaries on the question of who is doing the scrutinizing in this window. In particular, I chose to keep the tiny angelic face at the bottom left, which nicely mimics Hannah's cocked face, serves as a gentle offset to the stern bust glaring from the center, and creates a strong line between the trio.

Hannah in Little Italy, #1837

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: November 24, 2008; Canon 20D; f/5.6 @ 1/25 sec; -1 EV; ISO 800; 85mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#63)

For your consideration: a pairs pair -- one exuding a pleasant warmth, the other laden with latent tension.

The first presents two good friends of mine who recently decided to explore possibilities with one another; they made their first "public" appearance recently on particularly fine day at a birthday fête in a nearby park. This is likely the first Official Portrait of this obviously happy couple; it was an honor and a fun experience to take this informal photograph.

The second image features a juxtaposition of contrasts and illusions, obvious and subtle . . . Both objects are representatives of the plant kingdom, yet sharply differ in form and species; the more fragile, diminutive subject appears unexpectedly more threatening with its thorny edges vis-à-vis the larger's petals . . . indeed, while the flower's posture is open and gently inviting, the leaf's pose and attendant shadow evoke a scorpion's hostile stance. This duo does not seem inclined to mix.

* * *

A New Couple (Intimations) , #7581

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: May 1, 2010; Canon 20D; f/5.6 @ 1/100 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 400; 68mm.

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Intimations (An Odd Couple) , #7538

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: April 30, 2010; Canon 20D; f/8 @ 1/400 sec; -1/3 EV; ISO 200; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#62)

For your consideration: an homage to Euclid -- on the edge of a precipice. A wide aperture was deliberately employed to produce a shallow depth of field, exaggerating a sense of distance.

Abstract , #7532

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: April 30, 2010; Canon 20D; f/5.6 @ 1/800 sec; -1/3 EV; ISO 100; 100mm.

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Seeing 2010 (#61)

For your consideration: a close, candid portrait of a candid, close friend.

Jerry, #1271

© 2010 James W. Murray, all rights reserved.

(click image for larger version)

Details: October 20, 2008; Canon 20D; f/14 @ 1/25 sec; -2/3 EV; ISO 200; 79mm.

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